I am back on Blogger! I was assigned to start a blog for my company's new website this morning which jerked my memory and viola!. A lot has happened since last fall. I spent a few months at a real low in my life. I lost my confidence in myself after losing my job and failing to locate a new one immediately. Every job rejection just further chipped away whatever confidence I had in myself and my abilities, which made it difficult just to search for jobs on the couch. I started to sell myself short and look for positions that I was too over-qualified for.
The relationships in my life started to become strained. After I told my parents about losing my job, they were very supportive at first but I still couldn't bring myself to ask them for money so I struggled and pinched pennies until I had less than $25.00 in my savings account. Things between us started to get testy once they summoned me to Green Bay and made me a plan for my life which ultimately pointed to moving in with them and leaving Milwaukee behind. I started to resent them and their help because I felt like they were trying to take me away from this life I had built down here while I went to Marquette.
With no money coming in, I couldn't go out as much. But I also did not want to go out. It was hard to see my friends happy and employed with their lives coming together while mine was quickly unraveling. I avoided any one-on-one time with my best friends, afraid of what they would say to me once they had me alone.
Basically I could feel myself crawling into a lonely little place, and I was perfectly content to cut off everyone that cared about me. The less they knew about how upset I was, the better. Matt was the only one who really knew how difficult this was for me. It is truly the mark of a good man, and I love him so much for grabbing my hand and dragging me along when I needed it. The week we were to leave for New York for our Christmas holiday, I got a call for an interview for a job I had applied to earlier that day. I went in, had a relaxed conversation, and got a call for a follow up the next day (Friday, the day we were leaving). I accepted the position just hours before I went up to Green Bay for my parent's Christmas party, and I was able to enjoy my break knowing I would come home and start pulling my life back together (and filling my savings account back up!).
I've been working for just over 2 months now, I love my job. I am in a position where I feel my knowledge and skills are valued, which was what I was missing at my last job. I work with really good people. I have begun to stitch my friendships back together, as well as my relationship with my parents.
I spent one third of 2013 feeling like I was failing at life. One majorly good thing that happened in that time was my weight loss. As of this morning, I have lost 32 pounds which is about 14% of my starting weight. I feel better. I smile more. I like to go out and see things. I laugh.
More updates to come, gotta go do some work!
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